Marjorie has been a Kinship Carer since 2015. She cares for her two young granddaughters Jane and Abbie and has had them both since they were babies. Since then, her life has changed a great deal. Yet, Marjorie is keen to point out that being a Kinship Carer has brought unexpected benefits too.

Marjorie remembers her life changed after finding out Jane was in hospital. Concerned about her granddaughter, Marjorie dropped everything to be with her. On arriving, a social worker informed her that Jane had suspected non-accidental injuries. She would be going into alternative care. Marjorie says, ‘I didn’t think twice about it. As soon as they mentioned she would go into care I thought no, she won’t, it’s not happening’. Yet, the difficult relationship shared by Marjorie and her daughter complicated the situation. Added to this was the complex health needs of her daughter. The situation changed again when Marjorie found out that her daughter was pregnant once more.

Within a short space of time, Marjorie’s life changed. She had to give up her part time job. As Marjorie says, before she became a Kinship Carer, ‘I’d go out and just do what I wanted. I’d go where I wanted with no one to be back for. Then I was back to square one with nappies, bottles, baby weigh-ins and hospital appointments’. With a concern over Jane’s feeding patterns, Marjorie kept notes on times of feed and amount taken. In addition to this, Marjorie often took Jane to the clinic to be certain that she was gaining weight.

When Jane was a little over one year old, baby Abbie was born. Marjorie readily agreed to take Abbie, to keep the sisters together. However, after the birth, Abbie went into foster care following a mix up with the paper work. Marjorie was not permitted to visit; she did not see Abbie until she was four weeks old. Marjorie remembers this as a difficult and worrying time. ‘I wasn’t allowed to see Abbie for the first month which I found really hard. I couldn’t fathom it out as she would need to bond with me but she was going to be bonding with someone else’.

Marjorie now has a Special Guardianship Order for both girls. This has helped her to manage the supervised contact visits with the girl’s parents. Marjorie has found managing the supervised contact upsetting at times. Before the Special Guardianship Order, Children’s Services asked that she manage the contact for both parents, in her home. The situation became tense between the parents. Marjorie remembers, ‘And then the arguments would start and that would really get me down. My neighbour texted me to say she heard the shouting and yelling and asked me if I was ok’.

Majorie became concerned of the effect this was having on her granddaughters. She insisted that the contact happen away from her home. This ensured the house remained a safe and happy place for the girls.

Having the Special Guardianship Order helped Marjorie put clear strategies in place. The supervised contact is now a more positive experience, for her granddaughters, and their parents. The contact is no longer a joint contact and the girls see their mum and dad on separate visits. This seems to be working much better for everyone and especially the children.

Marjorie has a large family. Her home is the place where her children and grandchildren gather. Since becoming a Kinship Carer Marjorie has tried to maintain this. Having her family close is very important to her, ‘Family is everything to me; it always has been’. Marjorie tries to make time for her other children and grandchildren. It helps that all the grandchildren are of a similar age group. Marjorie says, ‘We’ll all go to the playgroup together which sometimes can feel a bit weird. It’s just like starting all over again, having your own’.

Trying to look after the girls and keep her family close can be tiring for Marjorie, ‘It’s a lot busier now. It’s just manic from the minute I get up until the minute I go to bed. I get woken up by a knock on the wall and I’ll hear ‘grandma come get me’. It can take me up to an hour just to go to the shop to get milk and bread. When I walk back up the hill, I think I’m sure it wasn’t this steep the other day. It must be with pushing the double buggy. Sometimes I’ll be falling asleep watching the TV and then I realise, I haven’t had anything to eat today. I just need a magic wand and ‘right that’s everything done’ but it doesn’t work like that’.

Marjorie is grateful though, for having her children close. They have been a means of support since taking on Jane and Abbie. Marjorie also has a few close friends who she is able to confide in. Especially one friend who has a good understanding of Kinship Care. One of her relatives is also caring for her grandchildren, ‘She knows what I’m going through, so I do speak to her quite a bit’. Marjorie had attended a support group run by a local organisation. Due to the age of Jane and Abbie, she found it difficult to continue. Other than Marjorie's adult children and few close friends, she has no regular support for her role as a Kinship Carer.

Marjorie admits it has been upsetting losing contact with some friends since she became a Kinship Carer. Although she has also found that it has brought unexpected benefits. Marjorie explains, ‘I suffer from depression now and again but it’s not as bad now. Having the girls has given me a boost. A reason to get up in the mornings. Having the girls has really helped me and given me something to focus my mind and keep it active. It can be hard at times but it’s rewarding as well’.