Jennifer’s Story
Jennifer has been a Kinship Carer for her niece Rosie for over fifteen years. She also cares for her disabled sister Doris, who has different learning needs. From Rosie being a young baby, Jennifer realised her parents would need support to raise her. In the beginning, Jennifer looked after Rosie at weekends. She hoped this would help her parents enough to be able to keep Rosie with them. After five years of trying, everyone agreed it was in Rosie’s best interest to live permanently with Jennifer.
Jennifer has struggled financially since giving up her full time job. She has received no support until six years ago when she came across a local project. The project delivered a befriending service for Kinship Carers. Not wanting other Kinship Carers to feel alone and unsupported, Jennifer trained as a befriender. Since then she has worked with many Kinship families, offering support and guidance. Jennifer also helps run a local Kinship Care support group.
Buttons by Jennifer
Kinship Carers remind me of buttons
Yes buttons
We are tough and strong
We hold things together
We keep things safe and warm
Without them things are open and loose
And fall down
Even with all the knocks they get
We can pick them up
Sew them back on
And they still do a fantastic job
Next time you look at a button
Have a little think...
What a beauty!
My Family by Jennifer
Family is a big thing
Family means a lot
Family is loving
Family is caring
Family is sharing
Family brings you happiness
Family brings you sadness
Family brings you anger
Family brings you problems
Family
Where would I be without them
Jennifer’s poem reflects her strong feelings about the importance of family. Even though times can be very difficult, she will always care for and love her family. For Jennifer, she is clear that ‘every child should matter’. Jennifer is part of a large family unit and she has always been the person her family turn to in a crisis. Her painting expresses how large she feels she needs to be to be able to care for Rosie and still have strength to support family and friends. As Jennifer says, ‘My life can be hell but I enjoy helping others as it stops me from thinking of my own problems. I can stand and walk tall with helping others and supporting other Kinship Carers’.
Reflecting on her feelings and story through art has been therapeutic for Jennifer. For Jennifer, Kinship Care has a dark side where she feels judged by others. She also judges herself in a negative way. Despite rarely having time on her own, Jennifer often feels lonely. She says, ‘I can be in a room full of people and still feel alone’.
‘Art has helped me feel up in the clouds, doing something I want to do. Having time out to do something I like has brought me back up again. I’m on cloud nine’.
‘Painting the tree reminds me of my camping days when one day I got a blanket out and lay under the trees. It was unbelievable and very peaceful’.
Jennifer often felt isolated as a Kinship Carer. She says, ‘I was isolated and thought there was no one out there like me. It can get you angry thinking you don’t fit in anywhere. I don’t think people realise what we do as Kinship Carers. Most of my days I spend waiting for a call in case it’s the school ringing about something. I never know what the day will bring and just take it minute by minute. I used to feel like I wasn’t good enough and had very little confidence. Other children at school used to ask Rosie, ‘Why are you living with those old people’.
Finding support has been a turning point for Jennifer and she describes it as, ’opening up a whole new world’. ‘I know now we mask how we feel and hold it all inside. Doing the art and the photography helps you to get your feelings out. It helps to release the tension’.
‘My family are my world. I’m still alone but by helping other Kinship Carers I can hold my head up. Kinship Carers are one in a million’!
